Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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