i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
