Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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