Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
