Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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