I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize