Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
