I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
