I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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