im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
