I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wish you could order shots online.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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