butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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