did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
