I want to walk on stilts...naked
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
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You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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