her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
