it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It's shark week go big or go home
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
