oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
