ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
