it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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