I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
