no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
