Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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