After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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