i think my tv is drunk
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
