called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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