I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize