you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
