my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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