Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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