didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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