i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
