You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
