hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
