wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize