this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
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And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
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I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
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