I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
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Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
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I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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