I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
