I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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