this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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