its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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