Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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