All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
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Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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