There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
