I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
