Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I FOUND THE LEGS
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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