i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
