It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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