watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Barsexuality is the new black.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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