Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
just found out that she named her cat after me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
