I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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