your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
did i just pee glitter
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
