i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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