They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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