Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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