Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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