I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
