did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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