He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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