with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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