dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
