Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
