that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
