So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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