Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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